Yojiro Noda

i am usually stressed with work
and days usually pass as exhausting and uneventful blurs..


my mind is usually a messful mush by the time i got home..


however these past few days has been..
i dont know...

easier..

i am floating..





my mind is impenetrable, stress wont come in..

and work has become bearable..





i have recently listened to a new band..
their music penetrates me..
i feel like my soul has been revived..


i can even write a blog now while working..
yes i am at work right now.. (shame on me)




i accidentally came accross the band as i was browsing through my ex-boyfriends files on my laptop..

you see.. that ex-boyfriend was a huge part of my being..
but.. life happened.. as they say..

and that's not what im going on about..






i tried listening to that song..

a single line and then i was taken..
a beautifuly sad voice..
singing..







the words were a blur as it is of a different language..
but the music ran through me..
i felt like i was in a trance and i cannot move..
and i cried..


i cried like there was no tomorrow..



the love and sadness in his voice was resonating through me the very same way i have always felt when that ex-boyfriend gave me those meaningful whispers..


i was blissful and felt very much loved but at the same time was scared of what comes after..


after happiness always comes the numbing sadness..

ive experienced..


that is the reason why whenever i get happy i get really scared of what desolation is upcoming..



the song reminded me of him but for the most part it reminded me of how he must have felt the whole time i was being doubtful of things..

how i cant trust him completely and how selfish and self-absorbed i am..

but these have all come and passed..




my mind usually wanders to that voice nowadays and everything becomes easy..


like the coldness in my heart is somehow shared and i feel like i am not alone..


at any time of the day, that voice suddenly comes through my  mind and i am pretty sure i can hear it.. on the bus, while walking, at work..


that voice has somehow given me peace..
and i am thankful for that..
Thank you.. #YOJIRONODA